Shall we Judge each other?

John 8:3-11

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. “Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?” read more.
They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either Go From now on sin no more.”

I ask you brother and sister shall we judge each other? I judge you for your Pharisee heart and you judge me because of my sin and who I am.

Let me tell you who I am. I am a woman that has fought many battles. I write them not for pity I write them to show you I am weak and I will boast of my weaknesses.

2 Corinthians 11:30 If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.”

My story I was neglected as a child. My father did not take care of me. I was always sick with fevers and this caused moderate hearing loss. My father would not take me to the doctor. Later in life I researched this and I had otitis media and my Eustachian tube would not drain. I should have had a procedure done younger than 5 yrs old. and this would have helped my ears to not have fluid blocked and my hearing to have not been damaged.

During this time ages 4 – 7 my Mother left to Colorado and left me and my older brother with my Dad in Nebraska. She abandoned us and only saw us during the summers. I remember crying at the dinner table for hours because she was gone. My Dad molested me during these years. I still remember at the age of 6, my Dad would show me pornography pictures and said, “when you are older we can do this.” He would tell me if I told anyone I would go to a foster home. He would then molest me and I still remember the acts.

I remember one day around the age of 6, I prayed to God to get me out of there. I felt His presence and the presence of an Angel. He told me he would get me out of there.

My dad is not evil he just needs Jesus. I have forgiven him but I do not have a relationship with him.

Without a father’s love and protection, I have fought men and wondered will they abandon me? Will they abuse me with their words and actions? To trust another with your life is a huge deal.

In the end, I must trust again and forgive.

I have had to forgive my Mom knowing I was being molested yet she followed her own selfish desires and did not protect me and get me out of the situation. I know she didn’t have money but she moved to Colorado and left me there.

To this day I battle abandonment issues. My heart had to wrestle through forgiving her. The beautiful thing is, I finally let go and accepted her where she was at. In her sins, I still loved her and forgave her. Her spirit is now with Father God.

I served 3 months in Africa as a missionaries in my 20’s. I will never forget the things I saw and how my heart bled for the broken and lost. The children that were orphans and the widows.

Then I got married at the age of 26. My ex went to church however he had a hidden sin. He would look at child pornography and he was a middle school teacher. I did not fully know the extent of the situation until I found out the evidence.

I then went to my pastor and he took the evidence to the police. My ex lost everything: his career, his master’s degree and his marriage. I couldn’t stay in a marriage knowing I gone through sexual abuse.

I felt guilt turning him in. I was ridiculed by our mutual friends. I kept my mouth shut until now as I didn’t want to slander him. My heart has forgiven him and I pray he lives the truth and does not hide his sin. Even through all of this, we were divorced and I still had a dream when his grandfather died the actual night before he died.

Over two years ago, I lost my Mom and that hasn’t been easy. God also gave me a dream she died two weeks before her death. He speaks through dreams and visions my friends, Joel 2:28. I just found out my younger brother age 23 is now going back to doing heroine. It’s hard to hear how he is shooting up heroine in his arm and his veins are bleeding from it. My heart carries this and it breaks me. My mom would not want that for him. My older brother struggles with depression and he at times has told me he wants to end his life. My heart breaks because I want to see my family in heaven. I cry as I write this. I feel my family is crumbling around me and I have no father and no mother. I am an orphan and my heart grieves. My heart grieves for the losses I have experienced. My heart grieves for my brothers. My heart grieves for the judgement others have looked upon me and scorned me. I ask who are you to judge, O Christian brother or sister. You are called to pray. I am called to pray. We have a battle set up by satan to kill, steal and destroy. Instead of gossiping and judging each other perhaps we should love each other like Christ has called us to?

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I run my race not for the approval of men, but so that my soul will go to heaven when its my time and to bring others to Christ. My life is not my own.

My weaknesses: bitterness, anger, rage, a sharp tongue, sexual immorality, un-forgiveness, trust, trying to control others, jealousy, hatred

I boast in my weaknesses, my God is my strength

2 Cor. 12:9-10

“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

 I forgive you of your judgement of me. Lets lay aside our differences and run this race for our families, our souls to not be corrupted, for others souls.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s